How To Tell When Your Six Year Old Has Played/Watched Too Much Call of Duty: Black Ops

  • You yell at your child to “Quit throwing the markers in the kitchen. They’re for coloring not throwing!” and the response you get is “But it’s the care package I called in, Mom!”
  •  “5, 6, 7, 8, 9101112131415!” … Just when I thought the kids were competing on who could count the fastest, I hear, “Sweet! My dogs just got 15 kills for me!”
  • You tell your child he’s grounded to his room, then turn to walk away. A mere nano second later you are threatened with a whispered “Throwing sticky!”
  • A trip to the bus stop results in a Nuketown like experience with RC-XD’s and whining of terrible respawns.
  • An airplane is spotted by all three kiddos. Tressa declares, “Airplane!” Joseph yells in objection, “It is not Tressa! It’s a UAV, huh Dad?!”
  • Walking down the hall to switch laundry around, Joseph peeks out, quickly backs up and says, “Planting claymore!”
  • “Mom! You tripped my claymore, you’re supposed to be dead.” “Nope, I’ve got flackjacket on.” “That should have got you!”
  • Christmas morning, opening gifts: “Yes! I just changed my care package to a chopper gunner guys!”
  • Anytime someone knocks at the door, “ZOMBIES!” Thankfully we’ve not had to “rebuild” any barriers!

Thank goodness Santa got them a Wii for Christmas…

Hoping no zombies come knocking