Tressa-isms

“My tummy hurts because my poop is too big.”

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“Mom. Can I have some of these?”

“Some of what?”

*She hands me my birth control pills*

“NO! Those are Mommy’s medicine.”

“Are you sick?”

“No. Mommy isn’t sick. I take those so that we don’t get pregnant.”

“But I want you to have a baby! LOTS of babies! When these are all gone you can have a baby.”

*Shoot me!*

(Well she got her wish… Sort of. We’re TTC, but not for lots of babies. :P)

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As I’m making egg salad sandwiches.

“Mom. What do I smell?”

“Eggs.”

“It smells like farts or something.”

“Eggs smell like that, honey.”

“I don’t want to eat anything that smells like farts! I’m not hungry.”

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“Mom! My farts are talking for my poop.”

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Amaya says, “Dad you are very weird.”

Jonathan: “Yeah. I get that a lot.”

Tressa: “You are handsome too.”

“Yeah. I get that a lot.”

“You are funny too dad.”

“Yeah. I get that a lot.”

Amaya: “I love you daddy.”

Tressa: ” He gets that a lot too.”

LMAO!!!!!

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“Well, he told me to.”

“Do you do everything your brother tells you?”

“No. Not all the time, but maybe I will.”

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Amaya-isms

“Mom! My tummy hurts because I have diarrhea. That’s the only reason why my tummy ever hurts.”

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It smells like somebody farted the whole world!” *Followed by a million giggles*

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“Mom!… There is a problem with me.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. Right here (points to roof of mouth) hurts when I touch it.”

An hour later…

“Mom! There’s another problem with me.”

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“Mommy that side of your bottom (she points to my right butt cheek) is crescent shaped.”

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“Cheetos are healthy.”

I’ve been trying to tell people this forever! 😛

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“So we’re going to have a birthday celebration for daddy next weekend?”

“Yep.”

“Why?”

“Because this week we’ve had extra bills to pay.”

“I bet Nana and Papa have money for presents. Daddy should work more.”

Lmao!

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“Mommy. When I am six, I am going to change my name.”

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Joseph-isms

“Do they speak English in Texas?”

“What about Indiana? Is that where Indian’s live? Huh, Mom?”
“Hey! Why didn’t you guys use the cow-pons (Coupons) at the fair?”
“Huh? I have two pairs of underwear on… How did that happen? GIRLS! I HAVE TWO PAIRS OF UNDERWEAR ON”
Then they all laugh.
“Mommy… Is Daddy wearing a bra?”
“Yessssssssss!! My teacher is going to LOVE THIS!”

Joseph and I are playing hangman. It is my turn to choose a word for him to guess. “Mom, it has to be only countries this time.”
“Only countries, huh?!”
I choose Germany. He guesses correctly.
He has chosen a country for me.
I start picking my letters and am stumped.
Jonathan whispers, “Pensacola.”
He’s right.
“Pensacola is not a county, Joseph.”
“It’s not?”
“No, it’s a city.”
“What about… like… Mississippi?”
LOL

Heading out the door their first day back to school after Christmas break
“Am I still in 2nd grade Mom?”
“Yep.”
“Even in the same classroom and stuff?”
LOL even he thought Christmas break lasted forever.

“Mom! When I’m writing my spelling, I keep forgetting the ‘s’ and stuff. So I’m writing no balls.” Then he giggles : P